Everyone who gets stuff done brags about a routine right? Habits and routines make self discipline easy. As we all know self discipline is pretty much the key to putting together a life you love. So if you can make discipline a habit or built into a routine, accomplishing goals and living the fullest life you can imagine happens by default, right? Sounds great, sign me up!
Now how many of us have attempted a new routine and failed miserably? Or how many thought of their days structured and said “I can’t”? I know I’ve done both. I actually can’t stand the thought of doing the same things over and over again. Day in and day out. And it always sounded so tedious to decide each step in a particular order and force myself into it.
Plus there’s no assessment of when a step of the routine isn’t actually necessary and that’s not just useless but an actual waste of my time! For instance I don’t personally need to do a load of laundry every single day. We just don’t make enough dirty laundry and so collecting and doing a load every day would be wasted energy and resources.
You may find some routines are more about muscle memory. These are things like brushing your teeth, hair and washing your face. You can let your mind wander while you move from task to task. Or making coffee. You probably don’t have to stop and think about whether the water goes in first or the grinds, you have a routine and it just happens. But that’s not the kind of routine I’m talking about today.
Turns out having a 10 step plan you repeat until you don’t even think about it isn’t what having a daily routine means. Or at least it doesn’t have to look like that. Having a routine is simply to have triggers that tell the brain to get into work mode, relax mode or whatever mode you should be in at a particular time to be most efficient by the end of the day.
Some people have morning routine triggers such as drinking coffee or washing their face. Sometimes there’s evening routines that include triggers like reading a book and the scent of lavender. All the magic of the routine is in the trigger to the brain. So you don’t have to rely on ‘feeling’ like doing the thing, be it working on a project or getting to bed on time. The brain just learns that’s what you’re going to do and there’s no use fighting it.
Of course that requires training. Your brain won’t learn to stop fighting for what it wants (instant gratification) until you’ve exercised your discipline muscle enough times. That number will vary for each person. So keep in mind that routines take time to build. But this isn’t the secret.
The big secret about routines that really changed how I viewed building one, is simply that I already had one. Everyone does in at least some part of their life. Of course my routine was useless and even sabotaging my agenda but it was still present in my daily life. Everyone has triggers that tell the brain it’s time to do a particular thing or feel a particular way. We tend to only recognize these when they support unwanted habits but they’re all around us.
The difference for someone who claims to have a routine is simply that they’re being intentional about what their routine will include. As well as what they’re going to avoid. At least in the time frame they plan on getting things done.
For example you may find that when you sit in a certain part of the couch you automatically turn on the tv. Even if you mean to be folding laundry. You might think oh it’s just for noise and I can fold at the same time. You may even be right. But will you turn the tv off and get up to put the laundry away? Or will you decide to dawdle and finish the episode? Or worse start looking at your phone WHILE you finish the episode and find you’ve now spent and hour doing not much of anything? Because your brain thought it was time to relax. You’re in your spot. The tv is on. Pinterest is right there.
What would happen if you brought the laundry straight to the bedroom and took care of it all without distraction? (try my method for the most painless laundry folding ever) At the end you’re still standing up and feeling productive. You’ll probably look to what else you could get done. You’re brain is thinking it’s time to DO.
If you want to build a routine start by assessing what your habits and triggers already are. Decide if you can alter them or replace them altogether with better habits. Don’t piece together 15 new things to do everyday and try and stick to it. Chances are it won’t happen. Pick one or two you can build off of and understand the routine magic happens AFTER you’ve been disciplined enough to train your brain.
